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20 June 2013

Oh the joys of being a parent! So much love and fun shared, poster perfect children, just so much bliss!

Awww. . . .How sweet!

And then there is the reality.

There is lots of love and joy and fun, but I think it's far from "bliss"! This shit is stressful! I'm turning gray! I clean one room, move on to the next, and in a matter of seconds, the last room is destroyed. Attitudes, tantrums, whining, crying, hair pulling, diapers, accidents, "STOP HITTING YOUR BROTHER" or "STOP PULLING YOUR SISTER'S HAIR!". . . .


 Maybe it got lost with the after birth?

There are so many books out there with opinions on how people "THINK" we should raise our children. These so-called "experts" know just as much as we do: NOT A DAMN THING! It's not an easy job! It's a trial and error process. You find what works for you and your family, and then you stick to it, until it stops working. Then, you pray to God that you don't lose your ever-loving mind, and then find a new process!

Just an example:

I've had such a rough time trying to figure my daughter out. She is 3 going on 16. She has an attitude! (Wonder where she get's that from? *glares at my little sister*) She is super smart, has a hard time focusing (she's three. I kinda expect that) has a lot of energy, and is just a social butterfly! But when it comes to punishments and trying to get her to do her chores, or to get her not to JUMP ON THE FURNITURE, she is always one step ahead. Like when I ask her to pick up toys, I tell her that I expect her to clean up her toys. I put her in time out when she refuses, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. When it doesn't, we talk about me taking her toys away, if she doesn't take care of them. *sigh* Again, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Last night was a struggle! She finally told me, "Mommy, I want you to take my toys away. I don't want them. I'll earn them back later". . . .



Reward system down the drain.

She knows exactly what she is doing. Her room will be clean, and she can just earn her stuff back, without having to clean her room. It's a win for her. . .that little turd. . . However, I start to pack away her toys, and take EVERYTHING! When I went to check on her, I found her playing with her Leap Pad. OH HECK YES!!! I'VE GOT IT! So I took her leap pad away and told her, "You decided, not to clean your room and that you wanted mommy to take your toys away. This is a toy, It's going away." I got exactly the reaction I wanted! I tad bit of crying and pleading! I've got her now! So I bargained with her. You pick up your room, and you will get this and the rest of your toys back. Needless to say, that room was cleaned in 10 mins! She was proud of herself! Now lets see how long that last. . . .

It's so hard for me to be on a schedule. We basically have a Morning time-bed time routine every day, but in between that, it's different. I can set a schedule, stick with it for a week, and then it gets boring and it goes out of the window. But I feel like I need to stick to something. . . .I feel crappy for not sticking with it. I know my children need consistency from me, and it's what I'm trying to provide. Too bad consistency is not exactly my talent, but, my ass better learn, QUICK! Because with 13 more years of military life, my kids are going to need something that they know will stay the same, at least one thing they can hold on to that they are comfortable with.

As convenient as it would be for our kids to come with a detailed owner's manual, it will not teach us a damn thing.  We learn to be good parents, and good people, by figuring out our children's needs. We are going to screw up, we are going to fail at task, we are human. Don't let a book, tell you how to raise a kid. Take advice, that's cool, but NO ONE is an expert. Those people just know what works for their kids, but we are all different.


  1. The problem is that most of us SAHM's are constantly having perfect shoved in our face. From the tabloids are grocery stores, to the woman on our FB, who only post how great and wonderful their life is going! Please! The more a woman tells me how great her life is, the more convinced I am, that she has to say it so much to convince her own self, because her life is the complete opposite! I'm so done with it all! If you want perfection, look to Jesus...I am just a person that is learning day by day! Love you, Your Silent Stalker

    1. I was wondering when you were going to appear. . .I was beginning to get worried!! lol
      You are absolutely right. Plus the pressure of people telling us we aren't doing enough, and we end up driving ourselves crazy trying to prove ourselves. I really could careless about the "perfect parent" image. I am who I am and I love my kids more than anything. I do my best and I learn something new everyday. Screw society's image, their image has always been a bit screwed up. . .

      PS You can't exactly be a silent stalker if I know who you are, sis. . .lol Love you!