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Homecoming! How to expect the unexpected!

02 August 2013

As our homecoming is rolling around the corner, I wanted to share with you some tips and some things you might be able to expect and what you probably wont expect!

Homecoming is a very happy time, in the military life! Spouses gone for 6-18 months can really take a toll on a relationship! Not always bad, but it definitely test us! We all think of that moment when we see our loved ones for the first time in a long time, that it will be such a magical moment, full of happiness and joy! It is! But what we don't plan on, is coming home, and settling in! That can, sometimes, be the hardest part!

SLEEP!! Expect your loved one to possibly sleep for long periods of time, for the next few days! (Of course, if I came home to a bed instead of a cot, I would stay in bed too!) Don't worry! Let them sleep! It's a way to adjust to the new timezone and help get over jet lag. They do a lot of traveling when they come home in a short amount of days, so that can throw anyone for a loop!

TALK TO YOUR SPOUSE! After your spouse is adjusted, they are going to be looking into getting in a routine. You both have been apart for a long amount of time, so neither one of you will be use to each other's schedule and routine. Don't try to push anything. Instead, talk to your spouse, tell them what you have been up to, and what you normally do on a daily basis, and vice-verse. Come up with a plan! If your spouse is just that type of "go with the flow" then just continue doing what you do. Don't get frustrated or mad when they don't catch on as fast as you would like them to. It's hard for them to get adjusted and get back into the swing of things.

EXPECT SOME ARGUING. It's not necessarily a bad thing. You two have been apart for so long and you are getting to know each other again. I suggest getting out, just the two of you, and not worry about anything but getting to know each other again. Talk, laugh, and just have fun!

DON'T EXPECT "LOVE MAKING"! When your spouse comes home, don't expect that romantic night of passion! Psh please! For the first few days, it might be a quickly and then back to sleep! Not because they don't want to, but because they are still exhausted and trying to get back to normal!

DO NOT PRY ABOUT THE DEPLOYMENT! I seriously can not stress this enough! If your spouse does not want to talk about the deployment, then it's for a reason. If there were any problems, and he would rather talk to someone else, do NOT get offended. Respect their decision.

LOOK OUT FOR SIGNS OF PTSD! Deployment can be a scary time. It's even scarier if your spouse is reliving it. Look out for signs such as, Depression, Flashbacks, substance abuse, sleeplessness, Memory issues and more. There is a link at the bottom with information, and resources. Make sure your loved one gets the help they need!

If you have anymore tips, Post in the comments! I look forward to reading them!!


  1. Great tips especially that very last one. Deployments can be very stressful and unless they're willing to talk about it don't stress it. Happy Friday!

    1. Yup! Happy Friday to you too!! Thanks for reading!! :)

  2. So true!
    I remember the first Homecoming seemed so anticlimactic for me. I prepped and planned and prepped more... I waited and waited, we crashed into each other when the formal Military talk was done... then he had to go return equipment and I went home.
    Three hours later I got the call to pick him up. We laughed, we cried, we were together again. Then he slept, and slept, and got to know his one year old son. We weren't intimate for days and we were both kind of awkward.
    Ten plus years and a few deployments later we knew better what to expect and each time has had its own trials.
    <3 the Just Mildly Medicated gal!

    1. This is only my second and i'm still trying to figure everything out! Knowing that what I want to happen (in my head) and what is really going to happen, seem to get to me! I tend to over prepare and over think things and start freaking myself out if all the dishes aren't cleaned! lol I know it's not going to matter! I think anticipation is the worst part of this whole process! Thank you for your input, Carrie! :)